2007 Monaco Grand Prix
From Frikipedia
Ah, Monaco. Everyone loves Monaco, it seems to satisfy everyone. For the moaners, there is never going to be any overtaking anyway, so they are remarkably languid in their criticisms of "dull" races. For the oldies, it is a bizarre blast from the past. Like staging a football game inside a crumbling, terraced stadium full of men in flat caps whirling those wooden clacker-things round their heads and politely applauding each goal with a "Good show!", Monaco is nothing if not anachronistic. Although "back in the day", of course, it was very much just another race, whereas now it represents the ideal place for the bloated, debauched commercial side of F1 to spill over the sport's waistband like an overfed stomach. It also allowed ITV's Louise Goodman to attend the premiere of the wanton cinematic mess that will be Ocean's Thirteen, in Cannes. For no real reason.
After four rather tepid races thusfar in 2007, Monaco showed signs of blinking into life. We had something of a battle for the lead early on, followed by our first dose of controversy in the latter stages. Fernando Alonso won, making Spain happier than they could be winning all the Copa del Reys in the world, but at what cost?
Probably at the cost of a rather cheap fine, actually. Who said The Chin was the only driver that could cheat properly?
Contents |
Race Result
1 Fernando Alonso McLaren-Mercedes 78 Laps in 1:40:29.329
2 Lewis Hamilton McLaren-Mercedes +4.095
3 Felipe Massa Ferrari +1:09.114
4 Giancarlo Fisichella Renault +1 Lap
5 Robert Kubica BMW Sauber +1 Lap
6 Nick Heidfeld BMW Sauber +1 Lap
7 Alex Wurz Williams-Toyota +1 Lap
8 Kimi Raikkonen Ferrari +1 Lap
DNS Scott Speed Toro Rosso-Ferrari AWOL
10 Boobens Honda +1 Lap
11 Jenson Button Honda +1 Lap
12 Nico Rosberg Williams-Toyota +1 Lap
13 Heikki Kovalainen Renault +1 Lap
14 David Coulthard Red Bull-Renault +2 Laps
15 Jarno Trulli Toyota +2 Laps
16 Ralf Schumacher Toyota +2 Laps
17 Takuma Sato Super Aguri-Honda +2 Laps
18 Anthony Davidson Super Aguri-Honda +2 Laps
Rtd Christijan Albers Spyker-Ferrari Rubbish
Rtd Adrian Sutil Spyker-Ferrari Rubbish
Rtd Mark Webber Red Bull-Renault The new Kimi
DNS Tonio Liuzzi Toro Rosso-Ferrari AWOL
Friki Review
So then, the controversy. The likely fines, the world shattering evil which McLaren perpetuated this weekend. As a technically British website, it would be easy for Friki to fall in line with this Tyler-centric view of what transpired on Sunday. But Friki is ever one to buck the trend, so lets go with something a bit different.
But first, the race itself.
The Race
The net result of the weekend was a crushing win for Fernando Alonso. He was comfortably faster than his team mate, the diligently second placed Tyler, and the pair of them were well clear of anyone else. Only third placed Felipe Massa finished on the same lap as the leaders. It was almost like racing a computer game on easy mode, where it lets you cut the chicanes at the swimming pool every lap to gain 15 seconds on the rest of the field.
Massa was well clear of the increasingly redundant-looking sister Ferrari of Kimi Raikkonen, who didn't allow himself a fair bite at the race after driving his car into the barriers in qualifying. Toiled around in the race to nab a point, but it is looking more and more likely that he will have to support a Massa title bid in the second half of the season, rather than vice versa. Who'd have thunk it? Well, everyone apart from Kimistas, obviously, but lets pretend we're surprised.
Nicking the BMW place from, well, the BMWs was Giancarlo Fisichella, who astonishingly managed to push his short-fuelled Renault into the best of the rest position. Presumably this will be his one good race of the year, but it was still impressive. The Forehead was bobbins again, but had a lucky scapegoat to blame after DC blocked his final quali run, resulting in a penalty for the Red Bull which really helped in no way other than to put Mark Webber into the top ten for qualifying. Failing to scrape his favoured 5th place from Nico Rosberg, he threw a hissy fit and broke his car again in the race.
As for Nico, he ran well at the start, but fell back thanks to a combination of a messy strategy and a set of naff tyres, even suffering the ignomany of finishing behind both Hondas by the end. Fortunately, Forrest kept on runnin' and grabbed 7th place for Williams, holding off a recaltricent Kimi late on in the race.
BMWs finished 5th and 6th, with The Second Coming beating Ickle for the first time this year. How ace is he?
Elsewehere, Toyota sucked a humourous amount, Ralf even beating his own depressing record by running last of all for much of the early portion of the race. There were some reports of a Toro Rosso finishing 9th, though this was not corroborated by any TV evidence.
The Aftermath
So, Alonso won comfortably. McLaren look fast and Tyler has his 5th podium out of 5 starts. Nice and simple.
Except it wasn't. The spectre of team orders reared their ugly head after Tyler let slip that he'd been ordered not to race Alonso after the first pit stops. Though the TV pictures of both him and Alonso sliding their cars through the swimming pool after the first stops may have disputed this, Ron Dennis confirmed that was the situation and, having sifted through 2.73 layers of Ronspeak, it is possible to summarise his reasons:
- Tyler started with at least three laps more fuel than Alonso. If he had been quick enough in the early part of the race, he'd have passed Alonso at the first stops and won. He wasn't. And he didn't.
- Not asking two drivers to slow down a bit when racing at Monaco could well lead to both of them throwing their cars into the fence and the team looking really stupid.
- Usual practice in recent times has been to allow the drivers to race til the last pit stop. Given that there was almost no chance of Lewis passing Alonso at the second stops on equal fuel if he'd failed when he had extra laps in his pocket, they may as well call it after the first instead.
Possibly good reasons, however a combination of British media pressure on the FIA, coupled with the FIA's frankly ludicrous new "no team orders" rule, means that McLaren could be in trouble. Usually this rule is utterly unenforceable, due to the fact that teams can switch their drivers in the race by blaming "tyre problems" or something, or just stop them racing after the last stops, as said before.
Still though, Ron came out and said it was true, and so now the FIA have their first admission of guilt to play with. Given the history of FIA penalites handed out, expect McLaren's admonishment to be anything from a "massive" fine all the way through to confiscation of each team mambers favourite pair of socks.
Friki's Unanswered Questions
- Is there a greater corner to watch F1 than the swimming pool?
- Is Webber's dismal failure to finish races evidence of his ham-fisted driving, or the development of chapter 4 in the Adrian Newey season ("In Which Adrian's Hair Brained Efforts To Make The Car Quick Make It Less Reliable Than The Thames Silverlink Service On A Monday Morning")?
Unofficial Friki F1 Race Points in association with Celtic Crosses
1 Adrian Sutil 5 Celtic Crosses (Fastest on Saturday. Challenging Tyler for Rookie title)
2 Giancarlo Fischella 4 Celtic Crosses (His great drive for this season.)
3 Fernando Alonso 3 Celtic Crosses (Eventually deserves some crosses.)
4 Alexander Wurz 2 Celtic Crosses (Beat the Cheese! Boo!)
5 Scott Speed 1 Celtic Cross (Nobody saw it, but rumour is he did rather well.)
6 Mark Webber 1/2 a Celtic Cross (Because Friki feels sorry for the car-breaking oaf.)
Unofficial Friki F1 Championship Standings in association with Celtic Crosses
1 Adrian Sutil 9 Celtic Crosses
2 Ickle 8 Celtic Crosses
3 Alexander Wurz 7 Celtic Crosses
4 David Coulthard 6 Celtic Crosses
=5 Lewis Hamilton 5 Celtic Crosses
=5 Scooch 5 Celtic Crosses
7 Nico Rosberg 4 1/2 Celtic Crosses
=8 Giancarlo Fisichella 4 Celtic Crosses
=8 McLaren 4 Celtic Crosses
=8 Takuma Sato 4 Celtic Crosses
=8 Jarno Trulli 4 Celtic Crosses
=12 Fernando Alonso 3 Celtic Crosses
=12 Felipe Massa 3 Celtic Crosses
14 Mark Webber 2 1/2 Celtic Crosses
=15 Boobens 2 Celtic Crosses
=15 Safety Car man 2 Celtic Crosses
=17 Robert Kubica 1 Celtic Cross
=17 Kimi Raikkonen 1 Celtic Cross
=17 Scott Speed 1 Celtic Cross
=20 Brighton 1/2 a Celtic Cross
=20 The Goo 1/2 a Celtic Cross
=20 Tom Varndell 1/2 a Celtic Cross
Review
The drama! The sheer drama! A change of leader in the Unofficial Friki F1 Championship Standings in association with Celtic Crosses! Adrian Sutil leaps into a lead of the series, and passes Tyler for the Rookie of the Year crown as he does so. Ickle's non-score after allowing big conk to beat him leaves him down in 2nd, while Forrest leaps into 3rd.
Alonso picks up his first points of the year, but manages no better than equal 12th place overall. Too late for a title run for either him, or his main rival for the Official crown, Felipe Massa? Probably.
